Friday, 25 July 2003
Bo' Selecta! Series 2, Channel 4
• Avid Merrion playing basketball in a Teen Wolf spoof Funny
• The Bear taking over the show. "Avid Merrion as so shit they've shot him. Bit harsh, isn't it? Should have just cut off his wanking arm." Funny
• Denis Norden on a drip Not funny
• Michael Jackson in Doing Porridge Not funny
• Walking Gingerly With Mick Hucknall featuring guest Neil Ruddock as he deals with gingerism. Funny
• The Bear forming Busters with Steven the Squirrel and Charlie from Busted – and then breaking up the band. "Take your big fat slug-like eyebrows with you!" Funny
• Lorraine Kelly's echoing growler Not funny
• Craig David Checks It Out, featuring the paranormal with Derek Acorah Not funny
• EastEndings with Ali the café owner Not funny
• T4 with the giggly, smelly, ugly Cheeky Girls Funny
• Mr T meets Denise Van Outen Not funny
• The Odd Couple: a drunken Patsy experiments in lesbian sex with Mel B Funny
• The wrap party with Jodie Marsh and the Liberty X girls Not funny
Totals: Six funny; seven not funny
• Davina and Dermot. "Fuck me you sexy bugger." Funny
• Avid Merrion in the desert and the studio. Not funny
• Craig David announcing "I'm splitting up" on T4 and doing some synchronised swimming. Funny
• Bored Of The Rings Not funny
• How Clean Is Your Arse? trailer. Disgusting. Funny
• Michael Jackson time travelling Not funny
• The vox pop: if you had to sleep with an Arctic animal, what would it be? Funny
• Noel and Liam Gallagher Not funny
• Gay Blankety Blank Funny.
• Jack Osbourne and Har Mar Superstar (and Anthony) Not funny
• Justin from The Darkness shopping for frankfurters Funny
• Avid and Abi Titmuss Not funny
• The Odd Couple: Mel B rehearsing an Emmerdale lesbian love scene with "minge teasing bastard" Patsy Kensit Funny
• Denis Norden on a drip Not funny
• Skinner and Baddiel. Not funny
• Totals: Seven funny; eight not funny.
Davina McCall spying on a hairy chested Nadia while she takes a masculine piss. Funny
Avid Merrion in the “shittest part of the show”. He said it. Not funny
EastEndings featuring paranoid Kat Slater complete with pig’s trotters for hands and “big flabby bingo wings an’ all”. Funny
Fake Big Brother newsflash with Davina McCall and cocknose. Too predictable. Not funny
Craig David bemoans the failure of his single as he tries to Break America. Not funny
Vernon Kay cameo. Funny
Christina Aguilera in America’s Trashiest Pop Whore Sluts, with Paul Ross satirising his contributions to TV nostalgia shows. Not cruel enough. Not funny
Trisha with her distended thighs and bum promoting Rice And Pea In Da Pod. Funny
Sight Seeing with Stevie Wonder in the bedroom of a copulating couple. Not funny
Michael Jackson visits the psychiatrist in Doing Porridge. The running flaw is that it pokes fun at a far superior comedy. Not funny
Avid meets Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne to ask their permission to take Kelly out on a date. Way too long but hit the spot on a few occasions. Funny
Mel B and Patsy Kensit in the Odd Couple where they follow a Jade Goody exercise video. Mainly amusing for the Jade Goody impression. Funny
Totals: Funny: Six; Not Funny: Six
Funny Davina snooping on "the dirty Geordie fucking bugger" in the Big Brother house.
Not funny Mr Bear and Cocknose
Funny Martine McCutcheon vomiting
Not funny George Michael's perfect moment (masturbating two men at once)
Funny Michael Jackson in Doing Porridge with Ronnay Barkay
Not funny The Bear with Jonathan Ross
Funny T4 with Vernon 'I'm from Bolton' Kay, Junen Pingpong and Michelle McManus
Not funny Avid with agent Keith Lemon
Not funny Celebrities talking about carpet
Not funny Craig Phillips shagging in a lift
Not funny Craig David Tries To Break America (Again) with the video for Soda Pop
Not funny Avid and Suranne Jones on the Coawrronation Street set
Funny Mel B and Patsy Kensit in The Odd Couple
Not funny The Mork & Mindy pastiche
Funny Marilyn Manson's appreciation of the Mork & Mindy pastiche
Totals – Six sketches were funny; nine sketches were not funny
The Missing: The BBC drama makes a triumphant return.
If you're coming to this review having just watched The Missing I'll bet you've just made that noise that we all make when a...
In the Flesh: Why we should be shouting about this more
Amid the tremendous bevy of high quality programmes delivered over the past few months – Prey , Happy Valley , From There to Here ...
The Fall Series Three: Jamie Dornan and Gillian Anderson go to hospital as the serial killer drama returns.
Over the past few years we've seen a few examples of TV dramas returning purely because their inaugural series performed so well in t...
What to Expect from The Lady Vanishes
Sunday night has long been the home of period drama on BBC One with recent examples being Upstairs Downstairs and Call the Midwife. Thi...
Win National Treasure on DVD!
If you loved National Treasure as much as us we've got a treat for you
Damned: Jo Brand and Himesh Patel excel in this dark social worker sitcom.
It does feel to me that Channel 4 are on the way to having a really strong autumn. With both the powerful National Treasure and the thri...
The TVweek: Sunday 2nd - Friday 7th October 2016
Sunday Notable Continuing Series: The X-Factor 7.00pm ITV Poldark 9.00pm BBC1 ...
The TVweek: Saturday 15th - Friday 21st October 2016
Saturday 7.00pm Meet the Parents ITV - Holly Willoughby puts the love lives of singletons in the hands of the people that know them best -...