So many names, so little time! We have far too many so-called celebrities thrust at us these days, but this was the night when we, the viewers, had our revenge by subjecting 100 of them to the indignity of being listed as our worst citizens. It was great.
People will disagree ad infinitum (or until the next list) about the placings, but that’s part of the fun. Tory leader Iain Duncan-Smith will probably be disappointed with 99th (it shows that still nobody’s noticed him) while innocent, cheery H from Steps surely didn’t deserve to be number eight (some organised voting there, we suspect). And Jordan was harshly treated at number two, coming across as considerably less snide and pretentious than the people who were slagging her off.
But generally we got it right, with known annoyances getting their just desserts and a satisfying large number of supposed national treasures being exposed for the irritants they really are. So while it was no surprise to see the Hamiltons (19), Anne Robinson (25) and Ainsley Harriott (47) in there, the likes of “lovely” Charlotte Church (21), “hip” Sarah Cox (34), “genius” Chris Evans (12) and the makers of overexposed “role model for children” Harry Potter (35) were hopefully quite unsettled by their high placings. And step forward Alex Ferguson, Geri Halliwell, Gareth Gates and Martin Bashir – you’re among our top 10 nightmares!
One odd feature of the show was the talking heads, all of whom (with the exception of the immaculate Chumbawumba) clearly deserved to be in the list, but mostly weren’t. 100 Worst Britains without Gary Bushell? Don’t make us laugh. Writer Will Self deserved a place in the top five for sneering down his nose at everyone (probably the only Top 5 you’ll get into, Will, so don’t knock it), while Tara Palmer-Tomkinson gave the best entertainment of the night by turning quite nasty at the idea of being listed – but then she might just have been putting that on.
Finally we got to the big Number One, and an excellent choice it was – our very own Dear Leader, “Labour” Prime Minister Tony Blair. It would be nice to think that he’ll take some notice of the fact that we’ve rumbled him, but he won’t. The reason is that he knows we’ll still vote for him at the next election, because the alternative will be the bloke who registered one place higher than Atomic Kitten. But at least we got the chance to tell him.