1 Denise Van Outen singing Doh-a-Deer. As good as Julie Andrews.
2 Graham Norton’s incredulity as he summarised the plot (the playclothes made out of curtains seemed to distress him most)
3 That freaky version of Favourite Things by Big Brovaz. (After a painful, and untrue, introduction from Graham: “One of my favourite things is this next band.”)
4 Bonnie Langford
5 June Whitfield
1 The wasting of Graham Norton’s talents. This was strictly Dale Winton level. Graham deserves more and he struggled to inject much life into a bland script devoid of any dildo or cum jokes
2 The brattish stage school kids who performed as the Von Trap kids (Von Crap more like)
3 Jon Lee and Clare Buckfield performing You Are 16 to a standard that would lead to a walkout at a village hall production. Robert Lindsay and Rosemarie Ford performing Nothing Comes From Nothing to a standard that would be a useful cure for insomniacs.
4 Lesley Garrett and Russell Watson – we just hate these (p)opera types.
5 Dominic and Dick being stupid as nuns.