What to say if you liked it
The nation’s premier entertainment duo return with their fantastically funny family show packed to the rafters with original sketches and hilarious games.
What to say if you didn’t like it
Just like when Hercules decapitated one of the hydra’s heads and two grew back in its place, when common sense and crippling public apathy decapitated Noel Edmonds earnest grin from the schedules Ant and Dec’s twin cheery Geordie grins grew back in his stead.
What was good about it?
• Ant vs Dec where they battled for victory in the Old Gladiators game Duel, the one where you have to knock your opponent from a pedestal with a giant cotton bud.
• Ant and Dec are utterly fantastic presenters and their endearing humour and genuine warmth towards the audience made the whole show very watchable, even with the underwhelming quality of its constituent parts.
• Little Ant And Dec are still cute enough to get away with asking cheeky questions to celebrities. This week they inquired Judy Finnigan: “Do you ever get fed up to the back teeth with Richard?” and “Do you make Richard wash properly?” It was made funnier when Richard seemed genuinely irate that he was copping all the abuse.
What was bad about it?
• The Crazy Frog ring tone, that strikes terror into our hearts in the same way the air raid sirens panicked the populace 60 years ago, was used as a punch line in the very first sketch.
• The audience laughing raucously at everything.
• The triple wedding proposals by men so soaked in dangerous levels of insipid cliché – an Office And A Gentlemen uniform, a red rose and asking on bended knee – they may have to be sterilised before they can reproduce.
• The woman proposing from a cubicle on the London Eye with all the passion of a bored corpse.
• The atrociously easy quiz question. Gwen Stefani is a member of which band: (A) No Doubt, (B) Not Sure, (C) Can I Phone a Friend?
• The KFC commercials during the commercial breaks.
• The Joe Pasquale Ant And Dec Undercover was disappointing as all he had to deal with was a locked door and some liquid shit coming under an adjacent toilet door. If Joe hadn’t slipped over there would have been no value in its broadcast.
• Many pieces were highly derivative of other shows of yore – for Undercover read Noel’s Gotchas; The Sarah Hudson Show was a truncated version of Confessions;
and Human Bingo was appropriated from the Crystal Maze.
• The prizes on offer which included a mobile phone, a trip to Rome, sunglasses, weekend trips to health spas, skiing holidays and, worst of all, tickets to a Westlife concert. They are the corrosive neural equivalent to filling your mouth with two kilos of
sugar and a pint of concentrated hydrochloric acid while listening to Girls Aloud, who incidentally also turned up to plug their latest cacophonous crime.
• To win the prizes, Ant told Rebecca, she would have to answer questions on this week’s “news”. The questions were about Kerry McFadden, Jimmy White, James Dean, Britney Spears, Joss Stone and Madonna. It’s a good job she wasn’t asked about boring, unimportant news like “where did 400 people drown after a dam burst” as she’d have won nothing.