Did we like it?

Any Dross Will Do would have been a better title. Same old format, with faked tension, deluded wannabes, judges who seem to need the limelight more than the auditionees, naff versions of naff Westlife songs, tears, air punching, soppy relatives etc.

What was good about it?

• The bits when judge Zoe Tyler got a bit stroppy and told it how it was.

• Graham Norton’s face-pulling. He’s got to earn his money somehow and the occasional arch look to camera is surely worth all those hundreds of thousands.

What was bad about it?

• The songs sang by the auditionees were invariably lame pop ballads or overwrought affairs from the mind of Andrew Lloyd-Webber.

• There was hardly any eye candy among the men wanting to wear Joseph’s Technicolour Dreamcoat – and some were downright ugly.

• “Superstars such as Jason Donovan and Stephen Gately”. Excuse me! How broad is the definition of superstar these days? Too bloody broad.

• Andrew Lloyd Webber hamming up his role, strutting around and sprinkling stardust on the great unwashed of Camden.

• The staged scene at the end when three rejects stormed into (well, minced into) Lloyd Webber HQ and demanded a rethink.

• Denise Van Outen getting flirtatious. A bit tacky but not as downright disgusting as when Sharon Osbourne does it.