An Audience With Coronation Street, ITV1

by | Apr 22, 2006 | All, Reviews

Did we like it?

Only those who are truly devoted to Corrie and only have half a brain could possibly enjoy this show. Possibly the worst example of Saturday Night Light Entertainment hell ever.

What was good about it?

• A decent selection of old clips from the creaky old soap.

• Laughing at the pathetic Z-lebs who had to sit through this rubbish just to get their faces on TV. The said saddoes included Myleene Klass (doing a desperate twirl for the camera), that judge on the dancing shows who looks like a horse, Lee Otway (so plain), G4 (aaaagh), Status Quo, Lynne ‘beware of hot Pop Tarts’ Faulds Wood and non-doctor Gillian McKeith.

• Anthony Cotton and Samia Smith did their best to inject some spontaneity into the question and answer session.

• Rupert Hill was the only one involved to show a smattering of embarrassment that he’d been coerced into being involved in such ratings-chasing brand-exploiting tosh. Everyone else acted as if they were worldwide superstars or members of the Royal Family.

• William Roache and Sue Cleaver’s “special tour” of the set was probably interesting for fans. “This bit of furniture was in episode one,” said William – not referring to himself, surprisingly, but to a sideboard.

• Malcolm Hebden’s well-told story about his superstition (“It is true, I do have a little quirk.”)

What was bad about it?

• William Roache’s presentation – hey it’s Christmas party time at the funeral directors.

• The exploitation as Sam ‘Chesney’ Aston to give the show an aww-bless factor

• The question and answer session: ghastly Roxanne Pallet elicited a story about eyebrow plucking from Michael LeVell; Stephen Mulhearn got Bev Callard to tell an unfunny practical joke anecdote; John Stapleton slimed over Helen Worth; odious Jeremy Kyle encouraged William Roache to tell a throwing-up tale; that ugly “model” from Footballers’ Wives asked Simon Gregson about his first day in a not-quite-Paxman manner; Lynda Bellingham got an I-loved-boxing confession out of Steven Arnold; Stefan Booth forced an admission from Bruce Jones that he’s into gardening; Anne Charleston turned the thumbscrews until Sam Aston blurted out the names of all his pets

• The singing (possible transgression of the description of goods act there). Richard Fleeshman is far too callow for Walking In Memphis (Walking In Macclesfield, maybe, but only if mummy held his hand when they crossed the roads); Andrew Whyment and Jenni McAlpine did Don’t Go Breaking My Heart like some chavvy married couple in Benidorm celebrating the completion of a five-year jail sentence; Wendi Peters failed to make us Get Happy; Tupele Dorgu and Ray Fearon’s “jazzy” version of Wonderful World was more like Woeful World; Bev ‘No shame’ Callard and Simon Gregson brought heavy metal to Saturday night TV in the form of Sweet Child Of Mine (Sweet Jesus!!); and Richard Fleeshman and Andrew Whyment’s cover of Hey Jude was the musical equivalent of defecating on a Picasso masterpiece.

• Vicky Entwistle’s sagging bosom

• John Savident being such a lardy luvvie during Amanda Barrie’s tribute to Johnny Briggs

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles

22/04/2006

Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!

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