Bremner, Bird & Fortune, Channel 4

by | Feb 1, 2004 | All, Reviews


1 – During Michael Howard’s meet-the-people on the streets of London, he encounters a black traffic warden. “You got in before we closed the doors so there’s nothing we can do about you.”

2 – Michael Howard saying: “People say you’ve got to be cruel to be kind. I say why can’t you just be cruel? Leave it at that.”

3 – Carolyn Pickles’ tremendous impression of Camilla ‘Ghastly’ Parker-Bowles, as Prince Charles complained about his mother (“stuck up cow”) and the press. “People seem to enjoy chasing poor defensive creatures and tearing them to pieces.” Rory Bremner also revealed that Charles and Camilla’s wedding list was at Ikea in Edmonton. “The place was stormed by ardent monarchists.”

4 – Tony Blair’s election broadcast, appealing to the nation as if he’s a husband who strayed. “Michael Howard doesn’t love you. Not like I do.”

5 – John Fortune’s George Parr is a junior Home Office minister this week, defending the counter-terrorism measures. “We’re trying to prevent terrorist things happen so obviously there’s no evidence because these things haven’t happened yet.”

6 – Pauline McGlynn as the anniversary dinner party guest who turns up with a present (a bowl for the wife to keep her Botox in) and reveals she was influenced by Princess Diana. “Her haircut, her eye shadow. I got really into bulimia.” And she disapproves of the forthcoming wedding. “Is there anything more last year?”

7 – Tony Blair had a meeting with the leader of the opposition. “Gordon, can you nip out for a Chinese?” “Where?” “To China.”

8 – John Bird’s bishop: “Rowan Williams has given tremendous leadership. He tries not to talk about anything.”

9 – “Mr Blair hears the voice of God. Not directly. I think what happens is Mr Bush hears the voice of God and tells him.”

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles


Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!


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