1 – Although speed dating sessions are getting a bit hackneyed in comedies, we did like the range of characters – the manly woman with “a face like cheese”, the posh lady with her question cards, the desperate girl from Preston, the eBay addict, the scary Russian, the nervy woman who sang Rasputin to the scary Russian, the rubbish magician, the blind man, the youngster with more mouth than trousers, the woman with uneven breasts, the gobby black woman, the gay man who doesn’t know he’s gay etc

2 – The man who was desperate to engage in anal sex, even though he wouldn’t take it himself. “I think it would hurt to much to take unless you’re a hardened bummee.” In the end, he landed the posh woman.

3 – The deluded gay guy who hates Sky Sports and pubs, but adores Heat magazine, theatre and Will & Grace. “I’m no Orlando Bloom – he’s gorgeous – but some people have compared me to Rupert Everett.” He even showed off a photo of his dead mother. “I picked her clothes myself. I thought it went well with the satiny coffin.”

4 – The eBay bore bragging about buying some gloves online for just £7.60 (“they’re far too small for me’). When one of the women blew her nose into a Handy Andy hanky, he remarked: “If you were Dale Winton, you’d get about £10 for that.”

5 – “You’ve got really scary eyes.” “I’m blind” “Is it contagious?”