What to say if you liked it
At least this date-me-to-see-if-you’ll-fancy-my-daughter show hasn’t got Cilla Black in it.
What to say if you didn’t like it
Another cheap, worthless show from ITV1. Surely someone is sending good ideas into ITV? Or has everyone given up on them ever recognising something original or interesting? Rather than worrying about the BBC strike, we should be storming ITV HQ to string the execs and commissioners up by their toenails and force them to watch Celebrity Love Island until their eyes bleed (this would take approx. 17 minutes)?
What was good about it?
• You could invent a decent drinking game around it, which would make it a lot more fun. Every time a daytime TV cliche rears it’s familiar head you could down a shot of your favourite mid-afternoon tipple. They’re all here: the presenter (the lovely Vicki Butler-Henderson) delivering a link while walking aimlessly and awkwardly; lame attempts at suspense that are as about suspenseful as an episode of Last of the Summer Wine; Vicki changing clothes a lot for no reason; really, really bad edits where facial expressions and body positions change in a micro-second; uncomfortably obvious ‘noddies’ etc.
• The moment when Scott said he had enjoyed some ‘rufty-tufty tumbles’ with some older women in his time. We have no idea what a ‘rufty-tufty tumble’ is, but we suspect it wasn’t what the road safety squirrel used to do with his mates after school.
• The word ‘celebrity’ was absent from the title and there were none in the show. We hope the show doesn’t become popular because otherwise we’ll have celeb mums pimping their offspring on prime time TV faster than you can say ‘Celebrity Date My Celebrity Daughter’
What was bad about it
• We were constantly reminded that Scott was ‘very good looking’ as though the producers felt we might agree with them if they told us enough.
• Despite the fact that Scott was dating mothers to see if he might like their daughters, a lot of emphasis was placed on looks, which, although important, made it a bit dull after a while. There was also the ubiquitous answer when anyone was asked what they like in a date – “a good sense of humour.” If only someone could find out what that actually means, then surely they’d be the most in-demand person on earth.
• The dates were supposed to be quirky, but ended up making dull viewing. Cake decorating, a team-building session and feeding some goats did not really make for riveting television.
• Scott’s attempts at surprise when told of his dates. His acting was so bad, we had to wonder why on earth it needed to be a surprise for him. For the team-building date with Lynne, we were told that Scott had been blindfolded and taken to a secret location in a forest to meet the Mum. Why was it a secret and what difference would it have made if Scott knew which wood he was in? And did they blindfold him for the entire car journey? Bit excessive, surely. Although, being a squaddie, he was probably used to such inconveniences.
• The ‘exciting’ final denouement where Scott picked his date was bizarrely filmed in a dimly lit corridor with the Mums coming down one-by-one to find out their fate – either he didn’t pick them (‘oh, well, we had a good time’) or he did (‘oh… good.’). As no one seemed that bothered, it made the attempts at tension seem rather lame.
• The eavesdropping on Scott and Elaine’s candlelit dinner. This felt quite uncomfortable – is a first date chat of any interest to anyone? Maybe it is… we have to admit, we weren’t likely to like this stuff, but maybe somebody, somewhere thinks it passes an afternoon quite nicely.