Friday Night With Jonathan Ross, BBC1

by | Mar 23, 2007 | All, Reviews

• The number of people who gazed at Jonathan’s dazzling tie and had their eyes burnt out instead of viewing it safely in a reflection: 16.

• The number of references to Daniel Radcliffe’s “nude scene” in Equus, thus reducing the show to the same low-com-denom status as a T4 interview: 13. But Jonathan’s invitation to viewers to see the play “if you’re a fan of theatre or just want to see Harry Potter’s cock” was funny.

• The number of clichés boxer Ricky Hatton uttered that he picked up that morning in a black bin liner from Albert Square: 8.

• The amount of interesting things Ricky Hatton did: One, knock the punch-bag glove from Jonathan’s had with a vicious hook.

• The number of days Ricky Hatton had to venture into the wilds of Liverpool to snare one of the city’s famous natural comedians and milk him for a joke that is only funny to fellow Liverpudlians: 12, and the gag he milked to explain his chubby frame was – “I’ve got this disease with my legs – I can’t walk past a chippy.”

• The number of senseless compliments that Jonathan paid to his guests that are so ubiquitous they cascade from his tongue with the frequency and faintness of water spray from an Amazonian waterfall: 31.

• How many jokes did Jonathan pilfer from Ricky Gervais: One, when Thandie Newton did a heavily-accented impression of her Zimbabwean mother, Jonathan quipped: “That’s racist!”

• How many cavemen could Daniel Radcliffe’s facial hair have kept warm if it had been shorn from his face and made into a fur garment? None, even the pet centipede would have frozen to death.

• The number of celebrity name drops Jonathan made with the care and subtlety of Enola Gay’s payload bay: Two.

• How often did the conversation get swivelled on to the topic of sex with a force greater than gravity? 23.

• At what angle did Thandie Newton seductively position her head for much of her interview? 22 degrees.

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles


Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!


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