Did we like it?
Gladiators… Ready?! British Viewing Public… Ready?! It would seem so. John Fashanu and Ulrika have been upgraded to Ian Wright and Kirsty Gallacher and there’s a new breed of Gladiators, but don’t worry, John Andersen is still blowing the whistle. Camper than a field of tents, with a load of hardbodies for us sofa slobs to drool over, this is classic mindless entertainment. But it really needs a Saturday teatime slot.
What was good about it?
· Kirsty was a suitably perky and easy-on-the-eye replacement for Ulrika, but Wrighty showed all the poise and relaxed chat of a patient speaking to the receptionist of an STI clinic. We never thought we’d write these words, but Fash was much better.
· What we all wanted to know was which of the new Gladiators would fulfil the pre-defined roles? Taking Jet’s place as the gorgeous female Gladiator was either Ice or Inferno (we haven’t decided yet). Without a shadow of a doubt, though, was the new Wolf – the gurning Oblivion! With a face that was more suited to an IT engineer, Oblivion had all the trash-talking, posturing and sulking down pat – and had the crowd baying for his blood.
· Ice and Inferno were fit in all senses of the word – guaranteed to keep the Dads watching. As for the guys, well, Spartan seemed to be auditioning for a place at Sadlers Wells with his preening but there were a few well-built lads on display. Whatever your fancy, gay or straight, there was a Gladiator for you.
· The new show had the sense to keep the old favourites, like the pugil-sticks of Duel and obstacle course of the Eliminator, but had brought in a few new twists like setting the challenges over water. A huge splash is far more dramatic than just a contender hitting the water.
· Thankfully, Wrighty hasn’t appropriated Fash’s intensely annoying “Arroooga!”
What was bad about it?
· Ian Wright. He was so wooden, we thought someone had stood a wardrobe next to Kirsty.
· The painfully named Battleaxe. Whose bright idea was it to dress the largest lady up in a metallic kilt and give her that awful name? She deserved better.
· The charm-free Tornado. We know you’re playing a part son, but just remember that it’s one step up from panto.
· Ian Wright. Did we mention he was rubbish?