What to say if you liked it
Normally you have to be off work sick, tuned to ITV because you’ve seen the Diagnosis Murder episode on BBC1 before, if you are to see a programme of this kind. Thank you, BBC, for making it available in a primetime Saturday night slot.
What to say if you disliked it
It’s hosted by Davina McCall. And with Kate Thornton fronting The X Factor at the same time on ITV1, this was a real devil-or-the-deep-blue-sea dilemma for us poor viewers.
What was good about it?
• The eight featured fathers-to-be are a nice enough bunch. But should they really become minor celebrities purely because they’ve proved to have lead in their pencils.
• The grimaces of the men as they watched a video of childbirth – or, in the case of Ellis, a look of nauseated horror.
• The three sisters featured in a voxpop who loved their father because he turned them upside-down and used them as mops
What was bad about it?
• “There’ll be no singing, no dancing; no-one will be voted out,” Davina promised. There’ll be no entertainment value whatsoever, she failed to mention.
• Despite this being a show about giving birth, Davina adopted a rather prudish approach as if conception and delivery were awful things that should not be mentioned. When Ellis screwed up his pretty face to deliver his verdict on the childbirth video – “Seeing all that stretching and that were horrible” – Davina leapt in with “Stop there. It’s teatime.”
And later she said: “For every one being born, there’s one being made. Saturday night and that. Whey-hey!!! Let’s change tone now. Out of the gutter.” So the act of procreation is mucky, is it?
• Liam and Jonny rather spoiled things by already becoming fathers before the programme started. Spoilsports.
• The stories of how Liam and Jonny became fathers were spun in such a way as to suggest there’d be a harrowing ending. Cynical.
• Danny Wallace’s dad assignments. The first was for the fathers to care for a newborn baby for two hours. “Fellas, come and grab a baby.”
• The show featured two Coventry City fans, which is surely a statistical anomaly that should have been ironed out.
• Jeff Brazier was featured giving his view on raising kids. So was David Baddiel’s brother Ivan, who also happens to be part of the production team.
• The audience laughing at any weak joke made by Davina, and awwing at every bloody opportunity.
• The pointless kiddiecounter, clocking up the number of babies being born during the show (every 45 seconds in the UK, we were informed)
• Matthew the weedy IT consultant wearing a sleeveless top. Yuck.