Junior Eurovision: UK Final, ITV2

by | Sep 3, 2005 | All, Reviews

What to say if you liked it

Kids singing songs they’ve written sounds like hell, but this wasn’t. Five of the eight compositions matched anything that gets into the Top 40 these days.

What to say if you disliked it

People getting overexcited about a contest with as much relevance as a Butlins knobbly knees competition

What was good about it?

• Our favourite won! How Does It Feel? by Joni Fuller (reminded us of Alice from The Vicar Of Dibley): The best entry, even if it’s not at all suitable for Euro-boombangabang-vision. A song so overwrought that Joni could grow up to be Alanis Morissette, if she’s unlucky, or Kate Bush, if she is lucky.

• Groovy Chick by Vicki Gordon: It didn’t quite live up to its “very Sixties and very special” billing, but it’s no worse than that Church girl’s Crazy Chick, even though it seems Vicki is a pupil of the Noel Gallagher School Of Songwriting, to the extent of even borrowing the beep-beep bit from The Beatles’ Baby I Can Drive Your Car.

• About You by Jessica Stretton: A quality song, nicely sung, but lacking a killer chorus and marred by the over-repetition of the realised/hypnotised rhyme.

• The Girl by Jack Garratt: We love Damien Rice and Paddy Casey so we’re well into this heartfelt song. Pity about the Afro hair, though.

• I’m Alive by Sarah Robertson: A rather croaky rendition of a Pinkish rock ballad. Has a future as a songwriter; probably not as a performer.

• Michael Underwood’s cheery presentation, avoiding the inanities of his elders.

What was bad about it?

• Clear The Air by Craig Lees: a junior James Blunt.

• Lovely by Ben Smith: Bland AOR number from a boy who claimed to be inspired by Freddie Mercury yet performed like a choirboy who has yet to start masturbating

• Devil In The Hood by Lizzie M: our least favourite song – anaemic rock with an hellish rap and an inappropriate title for a song by a girl who looks like she rides a pony and still sticks her tongue out when people annoy her.

• Nikki Sanderson’s inane presentation. “What’s a wallflower?” “I’m not really into politics.”

• The quality of the interviewing. “How does it feel/did it feel/will it feel?”

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles


Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!


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