Did we like it?

Another pointless exercise which is of entertainment value only to the desperate.

What was good about it?

• We did watch a lot of the show on x32 so may have missed some good things… but we doubt it.

• Ce Ce Sammy is probably the best of all the judges on these “talent” shows (except for Simon Cowell, of course) delivering well-informed, constructive criticism rather than just trying to big herself up.

• Lulu has been sacked from the judging panel after doing herself no favours last year with her arrogance.

• Casualty cutie Luke Bailey showed some talent, but is sadly paired with Naff Natasha Hamilton

• Mark Butcher and Sarah Brightman’s Weather With You was performed well by both of them.

• Dot Cotton was in the audience.

• The first “celebrity” to leave was Gregg Wallace, who we hated for being a lardy show-off in a hideous suit. Pity that he was paired with Carol Decker (who we like).

• Carol Decker’s Satisfaction duet with Beverly Craven

• Janet Ellis being supported by her daughter, the adorable Sophie Ellis-Bextor (and her husband, who’s in The Feeling)

What was bad about it?

• We did watch a lot of the show on x32 so have certainly missed some of the bad things.

• Vernon Kay was back to his most stupid self. The three worst things he did that we spotted: he sang a burst of Edelweiss, he attempted an Alan Partridge impression, he brought his wife with him.

• The male judges: Trevor Nelson is too creepy, Stewart Copeland is too self-consciously wacky and Tito Jackson is a grinning ninny in a bowler hat who seemed to be picking random numbers out of the air for his scores.

• Horrors of the night: Tony Christie fumbling during a How Deep Is Your Love horror with Julia Bradbury; Trevor Nelson saying that Natasha Hamilton looks hot; Jim Bardon wasn’t sent packing after ruining What Can I Do… for Jocelyn Brown; Marti Pellow looking so skeletal that he reminded us of our own mortality far too much for comfort; and Brendan Cole being such a self-loving creep.