Did we like it?
We were expecting the worst and rather shocked that the gruesome twosome’s chat show turned out to be a really good bit of telly – for its type (a bit of fluffy Friday night fun). It’s no worse than The Charlotte Church Show, less fawning than Friday Night With Jonathan Ross and far better than the charmless chat show attempts of Antony Cotton, Sharon Osbourne, Nigella Lawson and Alan Titchmarsh.
What was good about it?
• Katie Price and Peter Andre are vain yet ugly and stupid yet super-intelligent when it comes to marketing themselves. Moreover, they paint heavily over their talentlessness to somehow emerge with a reasonable Richard’n’Judy-style act that works amusingly in the confines of cheap TV. They snapped at each other, tried to speak over each other and flirted with each other. Just like Richard and Judy but without the bags, smugness, crow’s feet and jitters.
• The huge gulf – deeper by far than Jordan’s cleavage – between who Peter wants to interview and who he gets to interview. He was hoping to meet Robert De Niro. Instead, he got a chat to Jack Shepherd, the real-life, slightly camp version of Corrie horror David Platt. He’d have liked a chat with David Beckham. He made do with Matt Wills and Emma Griffiths (the poor man’s Katie and Peter). He was hoping to welcome Joe Pesci; he had to endure a miserable cow from Pussycat Dolls instead.
• The behind-the-scenes footage was as entertaining as most of the chat show itself. The pair were produced by poncy blokes in poncy hats who managed to impart a crash course in TV chatter despite being total pricks.
• TV legend Claire King was kind enough to succumb to a practice interview for the pair. “Well, you don’t look like mutton!” exclaimed a surprised Katie.
• The scriptwriters came up with some very good lines which even the stilted delivery of the amateur hosts could not quite ruin.
• Katie’s bitchy review of the week’s celeb mags, revelling in Posh Spice’s spottiness and providing a disdainful “Who hasn’t?” punchline to Peter’s observation: “I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve had Danielle Lloyd spread across the breakfast table.”
What was bad about it?
• The miserable cow from Pussycat Dolls.
• The Britney v FFed celebrity mud wrestling (a muckier version of Harry Hill’s FIGHT), the guess-the-fake-tits game (a sleazier version of Ant v Dec) and the competition for tastiest tattoos, including a fried breakfast on top of one idiot’s head and Star Trek characters on another idiot’s torso (a so tired So Graham Norton rip-off idea). These were all elements designed to appeal to Friday night drunks, not the likes of us.