What to say if you liked it

An insightful exploration of the complexities of the modern relationship; where homogenous situations in the subject couple were expertly extrapolated to aid the wider audience.

What to say if you didn’t like it

A humdrum reality show that viciously exploited the failings in a moribund relationship to promote the grasping egos of two supercilious experts

What was good about it?

• Jonathan and Sharon were both so uniquely unpleasant they provided a fertile relationship for psychotherapist Malcolm Stern and divorce lawyer Vanessa Lloyd-Platt to analyse.

• Malcolm Stern made several astute observations in Jonathan and Sharon’s behaviour that contributed to their conflicts.

• Malcolm’s muscular eyebrows sat proudly in position like a Soviet Army parade during its glory years.

• It seemed to have a happy ending, which was good for the sake of Dillon, Jonathan and Sharon’s son.

What was bad about it?

• When Vanessa and Malcolm made their points they seemed not to be talking to each other but at a wall.

• As Sharon pulled away from Jonathan, Vanessa remarked: “That’s the most defensive gesture I’ve ever seen.” A hyperbolic comment, typical of her exclamatory tone.

• The various problems Jonathan and Sharon were seen to share in the first half of the show were all so rooted in their mutual dislike and so similar that the process of detailing their difficulties was stretched and repetitive.

• After Malcolm and Vanessa suggested “fantasy” nights, what Jonathan and Sharon came up with was so lacking in imagination they would have been typical of Love On A Saturday Night.

• Sharon and Vanessa’s ethereal eyebrows looked like soiled vapour trails, while Jonathan’s ravaged brows resembled a failed crop that causes widespread famine.