Make Me A Million, Channel 4

by | Nov 1, 2005 | All, Reviews

What to say if you liked it?

Those who got addicted to Dragon’s Den and The Apprentice get another dose of wannabe entrepreneurs being taken down a peg or two as they try to achieve their dream (bathrooms with gold taps. fast cars, TV’s at the end of the bed which enable you to spy on your kids etc)

What to say if you disliked it?

Amateurish hour. The six people selected by the three mentoring millionaires turned out to be naive and sloppy.

What was good about it?

• One of the three mentors is a bit of a character. Emma ‘worth £55m’ Harrison (a plumper version of Big Brother’s scary Mary) initially annoyed us with her mwah-mwahing before proving she’s down to earth (“I’m a lapsed mechanical engineer”) and tearing a strip off her protégés (“the time for wobble gobbing and generalist statements is over”). Her pair, Fergus and Kate, are all ambition and no ability (they come from a PR background). They promise to shift 100,000 ventilated beds, where no dust mite will ever lurk. So far, they’ve aroused interest in just 10, and don’t even have one themselves.

What was bad about it?

• The rather dull Chris ‘worth £45m’ Gorman (a young Ron Atkinson) has a Jacuzzi, a supportive wife, homes around the world and ability to cut to the chase. He picked lovers Todd and Brailey who talked the talk but seem destined to remain in their tiny East End flat if they don’t shape up with their internet diet site.

• The even duller Ivan ‘worth £30m’ Massow (a well-groomed Thunderbird puppet) showed amazing patience with his pair, chaotic young mums Karen and Leila, who you wouldn’t trust with the cake stall at the school’s bring & buy but are hoping to invade the supermarket shelves

• Hearing the following: “upsell and cross-sell”, “experiential not just empirical”, “skillsets”, “110 per cent if not more”, “flagging up”, “diminishing resources”, “illuminous”, “The bit you do before you delegate is to seek the vision, and inspire, and encourage, and elevate,”

• Todd and Brailey trying to come up with titles for themselves in their business. “What’s a chief executive do?”

• There was no drama. Proper businessmen were too tolerant when they had to listen to wishy-washy, cliché-ridden pitches. We wanted to see some squirming – there should have been some Alan Sugar-like shouting or some of the delicious ridicule dished out by the Dragon’s Den team.

• The footage of the selection procedure was too rushed as the mentors decided not to go with ideas such as an on-condom applicator, reconstructing Iraq and trendy coffins.

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles

01/11/2005

Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!

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