Marco’s Great British Feast, ITV1

by | Jul 3, 2008 | All, Reviews

Did we like it?

The most charmless chef ever to carve out a TV career bores us for an hour, screwing up a format that could have worked in more charismatic hands.

What was good about it?

• The concept – celeb chef travels the country finding ingredients that encapsulate and celebrate British cuisine – was a good one. Until they decided that Marco Pierre White was to be the chef who would front it.

• The food experts who were unimpressed with Marco’s unadventurous menu ( “lacking in flair” , “a bit of a damp squib”) and not afraid to let him know. “They looked like the Addams Family,” was his ungracious retort. He preferred to listen to a posh little girl who thought the rabbit tasted tender.

What was bad about it?

• The scruffy, fag-smoking Marco has no discernible charm, no ability to convey his passion (“Pork isn’t everyone’s cup of tea”) and looks like he’s used a meat tenderiser on his own face.

• There was not a shred of joy in the programme. Marco made a bit of a play out of patting a pony but otherwise acted as if he’d been forced from his bed after a very late night.

• The irritating TV cookery show quirk of having the chef talk to someone in the middle distance when explaining a recipe.

• Marco sucking his finger.

• Marco making a “big chopper” joke.

• Marco saying “You should be spanked with rhubarb sticks.” He may have thought he was being saucy but it sounded horribly sinister.

* Marco adopting a pale version of Keith Floyd’s style. “Pint of cider, please,” he demanded. “I shoot better pissed,” he said before heading out to bag rabbits.

* Marco’s driver, Mr Ishii. Oh what he card he wasn’t.

• Narrator Janet McTeer tried to make us excited about the competition – would rabbit stockpot, fish pie or honey roast pork be the favourite? She tried to made it sound exciting; it wasn’t. It was pointless.

• What sort of top chef uses stock cubes as a seasoning? Ones who appear in programmes sponsored by Knorr stock cubes, that’s who.

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles

03/07/2008

Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!

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