What to say if you liked it
Tasty as a KFC Spicy Chicken Wing
What to say if you disliked it
Bland as a Big Mac
What was good about it?
• The set. We love studios that pretend to be homes because it is such a stupid thing to do. Nigella’s set is the best of its kind since Five axed Gloria Hunniford’s Open House (how we miss that fake conservatory). The best features are the messy bookshelves which make it look as if the whole of the British Library suddenly had to be crammed into a suburban semi.
• Nigella is far more engaging then most daytime divas (especially Claire Sweeney) even though her presentation style seems to be based on clips of 1940s BBC announcer Sylvia Peters
• We love her witty sidekicks Paddy O’Connell and Maria McErlane – but they didn’t get much of a chance to shine on show one, apart from a few observations in the chit chat about the nation’s sex lives (58 per cent of partners have gone a month without shagging, we were told).
What was bad about it?
• Nigella has so much to learn. She can’t deliver jokes from the autocue (eg the rather amusing description of the show “love, life, food and shoes” was read out with all the warmth of the speaking clock). She also talks over her guests and moves around as if there are landmines on the studio floor.
• Nigella’s not even very good at doing the patter during her cookery slots, mumbling away as she made a chicken and mango salad for guest Val Kilmer.
• Nigella interrupts too much. Val Kilmer had just started to get interesting about intrusion when he was stopped in his tracks and his attention was drawn back to her cherry superstoner.
• Nigella’s daily poll. “I want to find out the truth about you and your innermost feelings,” she said, like a Gestapo inquisitor crossed with a Highgate shrink.
• The oh-so-unsubtle finger-licking bit as Nigella made a passion fruit fool. You could even see her waiting for the camera to be ready for a close-up before the messy digit popped between her succulent lips.