Our Survey Says: The Ultimate Gameshow Moments, Channel 4

by | Jun 4, 2005 | All, Reviews


• Bullseye was named as the ultimate game show, even though all the clips fea-tured a flustered Jim Bowen fluffing his lines and it was revealed that if the finalists won, they got a speedboat but, if they lost, “what you could have won” was a car.

• Iain Lee asking: “Does TV get better than Belgians in penguin suits slipping their way to Knockout glory?”

• William G Stewart swears that the Family Fortunes researchers really did ask 100 people

• The notoriously humourless Kenny Dalglish “in the period’s finest polyester” being gunged on Crackerjack.

• Clips of the shivering beauty queens on It’s A Knockout

• Paul Tonkinson’s observations including: “You can imagine Stuart Hall with his flowery language seducing Miss Bath.”

• Stuart Hall pissing himself when the Germans screwed up on Jeux Sans Frontiers

• Iain Lee commenting on clips of Leslie Grantham being hammy and seedy on Fort Boyard. “He may be a sex pervert but at least Leslie Grantham can act. It’s a skill that shouldn’t be taken for granted” [Cue footage of John Leslie trying to act on Scavengers]

• The revelation that contestants on The Crystal Maze really did get locked in for hours if they failed a task

• Bob Mills conveying the excitement of winning “a 21-inch colour television in a magnificent mahogany surround” and discussing the dreaded IQ round on The Krypton Factor: “Here are 140 disparate pieces if polystyrene and we want you to mould them into the shape of the Taj Mahal. You’ve got 30 seconds. Your time starts now.”

• Game show regular Daphne Fowler revealing that she pretended to guess the answers to make Sale Of The Century more exciting. She won enough whisky for her daughter’s wedding reception on the British version and then flew to Australia and won £23,000.

• The description of The Krypton Factor as “a recruitment test for the paramilitary wing of Mensa.”

• Footage of a woman on The Krypton Factor breaking her leg on the assault course


• More tired clips of contestants being thick on Family Fortunes. The family of the man who answered “turkey” to every question was even assembled to relive the humiliation – even though the offender was now dead.

• The Adventure Game. An overrated piece of tosh, even if it did feature Moira Stewart in the days before she had to endure spending her morning a few yards from Nitwit Natasha

* Nicholas Parsons being simultaneously smarmy and strict on Sale Of The Century

• The show was entertaining enough but spent too much time on the game show clichés everyone knows about (eg daft prizes, daft contestants, daft clues on 3-2-1, the difficulty of doing the 3-2-1 hand signal)

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles


Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!


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