Parkinson, ITV1

by | Apr 1, 2006 | All, Reviews

The Good, the Bad and the Indecipherable

The Good:

• As Parky came down the stairs, he gave a glance at the audience which said, “I can’t believe I’m still getting away with this.”

• The despondent-looking female trombonist in Parky’e houseband who had a perplexed expression that captured all her buried dreams of working in the West End on glamorous musicals or perhaps as Elton John’s trombone soloist, but to instead be reduced to heralding the near-Messianic rebirth of 70s beard-freak Noel Edmonds.

• Noel Edmonds’ anecdote about how a taxi diver had played Deal Or No Deal with him over his cab fare.

• Noel conceding House Party should have ended in 1995.

• The way Parky’s feet sway and rock in motion with the tone of his questions like a glove puppet from 70s kids TV. If the question is an easy one the guest will enjoy answering they wave violently as if an excited dog. And when he’s finished asking the question, his feet will point upwards at the guest in a stance of passive devotion. However, if the question is a little more probing, a bit personal they wander away at right angles to the guest and have to be consciously corrected like a raw recruit losing concentration on parade.

• Actress Thandie Newton was by far the best guest as she spoke with great clarity and intensity about how her early experiences in the film industry when she was just 16 badly affected her life for a long while afterwards. While some of her observations did have the air of a psychologist’s clipboard, it was illuminating nonetheless.

• Timothy Spall’s acute observation that the same “duty” that compelled decent men like former hangman Albert Pierrepoint to act as executioner was instilled by the government to help absolve themselves of guilt over their act of revenge.

The Bad:

• Parky’s thumbs-up to his house band leader.

• Parky’s theft of Julian Clary’s catchphrase, “I thank you”.

• Noel expounding his silly theories about ‘Cosmic Ordering’, a process of delusional philosophy in which the disciple/fool communicates to ‘a higher power’ exactly what they want. Noel demonstrated the obvious veracity of the belief when the TV production company-owning multi-millionaire asked for a home in the south of France, and, hey presto, soon enough he had such a property. Of course the system is so foolproof that had a tramp destitute on the streets of London asked for a similarly grandiose house, he would have received it just like Noel. ‘Cosmic ordering’ seems more like a duplicitous credo that the wealthy can employ to spend their little-deserved fortunes on superficial trinkets and unnecessary luxuries to do so with no sense of contrition as they have been gifted them by some omnipotent force rather than their own gluttonous imagination.

• Noel, you have a successful quite decent game show, that is, for all intents and purposes, a guessing game with a little human drama thrown in. Please do not try and get ideas above your station by claiming Deal O No Deal “reflects real life”.

• Parky referring to Timothy Spall’s new film Pierrepoint as a “pro-ject” like some American corporate lawyer who would rather watch the cash tills at the cinema than the films (and they are ‘films’, unless they are those quite vile ‘celebrity vehicles’ for valueless reality TV scum).

• Noel Edmonds butting in to Parky’s line of questioning to Spall when he enquired: “I would like to know your views on capital punishment in this time of terrorists.” Even when leaving aside Noel’s ignorance that denying the terrorists he is obviously referring to, such as those brainwashed idiots who bombed London last July, would suffer a great deal more being kept alive to reflect on their actions rather than being killed and become a ‘martyr’, he was also oblivious that terrorism didn’t begin in 2001; and even then the death toll inflicted by terrorists is still an insignificance when compared with the amount of people killed by various states, the only difference is that terrorists like to publicise their murders while states do not.

The Indecipherable:

• “You used to jlde”

• “DaysBBChsptirty”

• “Gggeghemeanthethethe”

• “Fdfwdcosmicordering”

• “The definition of ambition zjlalajl”

• “You got adequatejjaspaertime”

• “Thandie Newton’s sssaidf”

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles

01/04/2006

Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!

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