1 – Ozzy Osbourne. Despite his usual incoherence and rambling, he was the most entertaining, coming up with some hilarious comments, such as revealing that while on drugs he used to keep a tap around his neck in case he was thirsty and such insights as “Couples say they’ve been married for years and have never had a cross word. They must live in different houses! “Why did you drink so much?””Because I liked it.” Most other celebrities would probably delve into psychobabble and self-pity. It is quite heartwarming that he has managed to come through an unhappy childhood where he was bullied constantly and more importantly that the man famous for indulging in every substance on the planet is now ?one year clean from alcohol, smoking and drugs.
2 – Sharon Osbourne. Having both of them together was a great idea, and she supplied the unlikely sweetest moment when asked why she stayed with him after he tried to murder her (“Because I love him”), and laughing while telling of Ozzy’s other exploits which he can’t remember. It was all very down-to-earth as well, laughing about some bizarre and embarrassing moments they’ve had, although not many people have put their penis into their boss’s? drink and tried to murder their wife. Her light-mindedness about this, and the fact they’d been bankrupt several times, was quite charming in a disturbing way.
3 – Martin Clunes. Amusingly self-deprecating and he seemed a very nice, pleasant bloke. He had a good point about how moaning is the first point of contact for English people who haven’t met before, and how filming sex scenes isn’t at all erotic because all the crew are crowded round watching. It was also amusing to hear that the twins who play Tom in William And Mary were brilliant but kept repeating words they heard from the director.
4 – Anastasia. Apart from squeaking like an albatross at the end, she sang reasonably enough. But the song itself very dull and mediocre. Parky felt obliged to tell us was a charity single. It’s a shame he didn’t interview her, as she’d probably be quite interesting.
6 – Stephen Fry. He seemed more like a parody of himself – obnoxious, pompous, snobby, smug. He was pretty dull as well, saying how Prince Charles is a “remarkable man” and that there are no longer “nice people at Harrods” and how his friend Hugh Laurie is “wowing them in America”. His worst moment was saying that, although he didn’t support beating children, Shakespeare and Churchill were beaten by their parents, and chavs have emerged since corporal punishment was banned. His impressions of Prince Charles, Brian Sewell, Sir Martin Gilliot and The Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons were excellent, as was his story about a funeral he went to where the music was the theme from Countdown.