Posh Totty, Five

by | Dec 20, 2002 | All, Reviews

Posh Totty, Five

I thought the Workers Revolutionary Party had disbanded, but they evidently haven’t because Five gave them an hour-long promo on Friday. Posh Totty was cleverly disguised as a documentary about three privileged young women trying to break into their chosen fields by spending shedloads of cash. Its real purpose, though, was clearly to expose the iniquities of capitalism by showing the wanton excesses of its running-dogs’ pampered offspring. It certainly worked for me.

Least offensive of the three was Carolyn, the girl whose field was, literally, a field, round which she rode £40,000 thoroughbred horses in her quest to be come an Olympic equestrian. It was costing the equivalent of decent books for her county’s primary schools, but she was obviously working hard, and had paid a terrible price for her dedication in the shape of an inability to communicate with anything that didn’t have four legs and a pedigree certificate.

The other two were much less palatable. The first was Anoushka, a wannabe pop star whose planned route to fame didn’t involve a five-hour queue for 30 seconds of humiliation by Cowell, Walsh or Waterman. Instead she was partying her way to the top, making sure she was photographed with the right people (and Mick Hucknall) in the right £1,000 dress. She eventually threw her own promo concert, but bottled at the last minute and mimed instead of singing, no doubt impressing the record company execs who’d come to drink her Bolly. Expect to see her on MTV next week.

The worst though – by far – was Gemma, whose ambition was simply to be an It Girl, following in Tara and Tamara’s footsteps by being famous for being famous. As a case study in utter pointlessness, she was perfect, never less than an hour late for anything (and 90 minutes late for her own 500-guest party), and spending £5,000 a month on clothes plus more to have her face surgically disfigured (it worked). She actually achieved her ambition of becoming a gossip columnist (ghost-written, of course) in a national newspaper. That the “newspaper” was the Daily Sport, with her pictured naked across two pages, didn’t seem to matter one bit.

What did come across as mattering was the sheer scale of Britain’s excess industry, in which these girls were relatively minor players. What we saw being thrown around like confetti was presumably the extreme wealth that Peter Mandleson said New Labour was “intensely relaxed” about people accumulating. They shouldn’t be. In a country where the health service is in trouble, public transport is a shambles and pensions are fast becoming a thing of the past, it really matters that so much of the nation’s wealth percolates upwards to be squandered in a never-ending festival of self-indulgence for the privileged few. Posh Totty demonstrated that brilliantly. Up the workers.

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles

20/12/2002

Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!

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