Did we like it?
Watching a jumped-up little tart denigrating the lives of ordinary working people was so bloody nauseous that we hope the commissioner is forced to spend the rest of his/her life with the awful little brat.
What was good about it?
• Esther, the man-voiced manageress of Folkestone fish and chip shop Chummy’s, who gave Nikki a verbal battering: “I think you’re snobbish, I think you’re arrogant, I think you’re so far up your own arse it’s unbelievable. You ran around screaming, ranting and raving as if you’re some sort of celebrity.” The Big Brother reject was stunned into silence.
• Scallylad fisherman Luke who had to take the stupid cow fishing. We’d get caught up in his net any day.
• We hope Nikki really, really hated it (rather than just pretended) when she had to wee in a bucket and clean sludgy fat from the fryer at Chummy’s.
What was bad about it?
• While it was understandable that Nikki did her childish tantrum schtick over and over, it was despicable the way she treated the hotelier (“This is like a dog kennel. I can’t believe they’ve put me in this hovel,” she told the proprietor of the £25-a-night hotel – the sort of place she’d probably have stayed at before Big Brother gave her a horrible sense of importance). And it was even worse when she humiliated the chippie girls (“You’re mad working here. I wouldn’t work here.)
• The fake crying, fake screaming, fake seasickness (“Stop this boat. I’m gonna be sick”), the fake sulks, the fake tears, the fake childishness (“[Gutting fish] is like being a murderer.”)
• Alex Zane’s pathetic narration, describing Nikki as “the mother of all divas” (she’s an immature zombie, mate) and “the queen of all drama queens” (her act is transparent to anyone with any intelligence, mate).