Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, Channel 4

by | Feb 21, 2006 | All, Reviews

Did we like it?

Of course we f**king did.

What was good about it?

• Gordon’s f**king rudeness to the f**king lazy staff. After a waitress f**ks up he tells her, with his customary f**king bluntness: “It’s not funny, sweetheart!”

• Gordon f**king up his metaphors with the f**king amateurism of a f**king chef who is getting to f**king big for his f**king boots. “A chef without confidence is like a car without wheels,” he confided with f**king sincerity. “And Lenin’s got to get in that driving seat.”

• Talking in that f**king impenetrable code that only f**king means something to f**king chefs, yet saying it with such f**king passion that we all f**king understand what the f**k he’s talking about. “Three-and-a-half minutes, 15 main courses. f**king well done.”

• Poor old head chef Lenin. Not only is he named after one of the last century’s most notorious f**king revolutionaries, but he’s also f**ked up his own career with f**king alcohol, and needs to get the f**k around his f**king demons before is able to f**king rule the f**king kitchen again.

• Gordon f**king off after his f**king work is done, slipping quietly out the f**king back like the Littlest f**king Hobo satisfied that his work is done and he can f**king move on to help other professional f**k-ups.

What was bad about it?

• The stupid f**king way in which the restaurant are f**king ignorant of Gordon’s advice in previous series’. One tip he always f**king spits out is: “Keep the menu simple.” And one of the first f**king f**k-ups he faces with f**king Oscar’s is a f**king menu that a f**king contortionist couldn’t f**king f**k his way out of.

• The f**king soap opera melodrama after Lenin keels over in the f**king kitchen after Gordon had removed his f**king “crutch” of alcohol. Gordon is filmed looking f**king concerned, both for f**king Lenin and his own f**king reputation which may have been permanently f**ked if someone had their health f**ked-up through his f**king tutelage.

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles


Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!


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