Did we like it?

Of course we f**king did.

What was good about it?

• Gordon’s f**king rudeness to the f**king lazy staff. After a waitress f**ks up he tells her, with his customary f**king bluntness: “It’s not funny, sweetheart!”

• Gordon f**king up his metaphors with the f**king amateurism of a f**king chef who is getting to f**king big for his f**king boots. “A chef without confidence is like a car without wheels,” he confided with f**king sincerity. “And Lenin’s got to get in that driving seat.”

• Talking in that f**king impenetrable code that only f**king means something to f**king chefs, yet saying it with such f**king passion that we all f**king understand what the f**k he’s talking about. “Three-and-a-half minutes, 15 main courses. f**king well done.”

• Poor old head chef Lenin. Not only is he named after one of the last century’s most notorious f**king revolutionaries, but he’s also f**ked up his own career with f**king alcohol, and needs to get the f**k around his f**king demons before is able to f**king rule the f**king kitchen again.

• Gordon f**king off after his f**king work is done, slipping quietly out the f**king back like the Littlest f**king Hobo satisfied that his work is done and he can f**king move on to help other professional f**k-ups.

What was bad about it?

• The stupid f**king way in which the restaurant are f**king ignorant of Gordon’s advice in previous series’. One tip he always f**king spits out is: “Keep the menu simple.” And one of the first f**king f**k-ups he faces with f**king Oscar’s is a f**king menu that a f**king contortionist couldn’t f**king f**k his way out of.

• The f**king soap opera melodrama after Lenin keels over in the f**king kitchen after Gordon had removed his f**king “crutch” of alcohol. Gordon is filmed looking f**king concerned, both for f**king Lenin and his own f**king reputation which may have been permanently f**ked if someone had their health f**ked-up through his f**king tutelage.