The witches of Eastwick mean business as we get to the serious end of series three. Well, not totally serious obviously because in the absence of Marylin we meet Terry Taylor outside a mosque as a riot kicks off in 2018 but he might as well be working for Gene Hunt in the seventies. “It’s like herding cats with beards!” he shouts as the situation worsens solely due to his presence. Cool as a cucumber at the centre of all the pandemonium is Caroline McCoy which is very fitting as she’s the villain at the heart of everything.
But back to Terry, or Terry-dactyl as he doesn’t know he’s called, because this man deserves a paragraph all to himself. Nigel Lindsay is in fine form as the politically incorrect, deodorant-ly challenged DSI. Comedy oozes from every pore and that might actually explain his problem. He takes Spike under his wings (what a horrid thought) and sucks up to the Mayor while Viv has put in a complaint about just Spike. It’s just a double bluff so he can be an insider, keeping track on the old dinosaur’s footprints.
Dennis Caddy is now well under the thumb of the law and under Cinderly arches meets up with Beckett in a beautifully shot and well-executed scene. Speaking of execution he’s holding the button to a bomb for a few deeply intense minutes but there’s a twist. The bomb isn’t on him or even at a mosque. No, it’s on a Goat called Randolph. Bet you didn’t see that one coming did you? It cuts the tension with a silly knife and is all the more brilliant for it. Long story short, Beckett’s impressively big beard can’t save him from a bullet and of he goes to that great big racist cloud in the sky. For as long as McCoy doesn’t know this news the Friday Street team hatch a plan to literally put words into a dead man’s mouth.
This had all the elements of No Offence at its very finest with plenty of quick-fire chaos, unpredictable twists and slight pulls of the heartstrings too. Also worth noting is how the regulars got good screen time. Dina, Spike Tegan and Stuart all have ample contributions and of course, there’s the strong introduction to Terry. Though Miller was quiet by normal standards he wins the episode with his post bomb panic of “I’VE GOT GOAT ON ME! No, I tell a lie, it’s pasty.”
– ‘Captain Big Box’ finally got his moment in the limelight even if was because of an imposter.
– How lovely was it to see Viv give Tegan some sage advice?
– It’s good to know at least Terry’s penis isn’t racist.
– Will Marylin ever return from her lady garden leave?
– With Caddy, Bonnie and Friday Street on her case, it’s hard to see a way out of this for Caroline. Does she have one more trick up her sleeve in the finale?
No Offence Concludes Thursday 9.00pm on Channel 4