Did we like it?
Gadzooks! The straw-like fop gangling about on a stage seems to have found a show that fully showcases his talents – even if he takes longer to get to the punch line than Big Train used to.
What was good about it?
• Buckle my shoe with the ribcages of a baker’s dozen of Mesopotamian alchemists, Brand’s mock dismay at the foibles of past generations make for the funniest moments, whether mocking 70s adverts for forecasting the coming of the apocalypse because some boys play recklessly in grain pits.
• “A grain pit looks like a sandpit to a child – a way to drown without water.” This sort of demagoguish hyperbole provoked Brand to remark that only about three people in the whole of the country own a grain pit and rather than splashing out on an expensive ad it would have been cheaper to “deliver a gold [protective] grid to each of the grain houses in a Rolls Royce.”
• Trundle my fundle with bows of shiny black craving deftly narked by my pre-matriarchal swamp, little gems from the archives such as the posh borstal boy who casually told of how he burnt down a building.
What was bad about it?
• Prick my conscience with a gamut of boar diarrhoea, quite often Brand loses his focus and rambles on like a half-blind spinster vainly trying to thread a needle so she can sew her unctuous nephew’s mouth shut, such as when he spoke about the little girl who was familiar with the Hollyoaks storyline in which Gary Lucy’s character was raped. Although to be fair to Brand, Gary Lucy and Hollyoaks are the kinds of things that can cause you to lose focus like trying to keep track of a crewmate’s corpse, lost overboard as you bob perilously in the stormy Atlantic, as it is slowly devoured by predators.
• “Gen-u-wine” – Brand joins Jonathan Ross on the blacklist of “gen-u-wine”ly talented Englishmen who have committed semantic treason by flogging their proud language after some bloated besunglassed bloater wearing a Stetson flaps some greenbacks in their direction. Come the revolution they’ll be saying “Hey” in Matthew Perry’s Chandler accent to a big, steel axe as it cumbersomely cuts their tongues out and pins them to the gates of Buckingham Palace.