Did we like it?
ITV1 may be lousy at almost everything these days but when it comes to anodyne light entertainment they’ve got it licked.
What was good about it?
• Zoe Ball emerged with distinction, doing a polished job of presenting. Much better than last year’s duo Ben Shephard and Fern Britton.
• Most of the acts did a reasonable job although we’d rather have seen a mixture of brilliance and hideousness.
• Michael Ball’s constructive criticism and Martine McCutcheon’s honesty.
• Elaine Lordan got the boot even though the judges – possibly fearing a kick-in from the hag – flattered her like mad.
* Leon’s pecs
What was bad about it?
• Billy Highlights made some pathetic attempts to be nasty. “You’re like a cabaret singer,” isn’t really a putdown if you’re a complete amateur. And he shouldn’t have been eying up Leon’s package and comparing it to whatever dangles between the legs of Tom Jones.
• Chris Cowey should remember he’s not a comedian. He’s a frizzy haired jerk.
• Jane Danson’s weak voice, Alan Fletcher’s Faith, Verity Rushworth’s Runaway and Mark Furzes’s Yesterday.
• Matthew Wolfenden’s 1970s German porn star look.