T-In The Park, BBC3

by | Jul 11, 2005 | All, Reviews

Top of the Chart!

1. Super Furry Animals. While many of their peers were content to indulge the undemanding crowd and labour on with the “hits”, the wondrous Welsh weirdoes challenged the audience with distorted vocals and queasy electronics on tracks like Juxtapozed and Slow Life while bedecked in radiation-protective suits they’d perhaps pilfered from Hinkley Point.

2. The Killers. While we’re now so bored with the three ubiquitous singles (not Smile Like You Mean It, that’s fabulous), the festivals have illuminated the darker crevasses of their eerily impressive album Hot Stuff such as A Friend of Mine and On Top.

3. The Magic Numbers. They may look like the Charles Manson Family interbred with Lisa Riley, but Romeo Stodardt and the rest deliver such sweet, melodious indie which stands out even in the amorphous morass of those bands who are travelling from site to site like peasants begging for change.

4. Bloc Party. Served up their usual menu of penetrating indie-rock such as Helicopter and Little Thoughts, during which the drummer even managed to fix his kit with some sellotape.

5. New Order. As BBC3 only deigned to show the first three songs – the dull Regret, and the quite good Krafty and Crystal – it meant much of their omniscience was obscured by the dreary Foo Fighters coverage. Atmosphere, shown a little later, was as celestial as it can be post-1980, though.

6. James Brown. Simply because one caterwauled “aaaaoooaaaaw!” had more passion than the factory-produced indie ignited over the whole two days. His performance, mind, was rubbish. Protected by his “legendary” status, he resembled a granddad at a wedding where the uniformly joyous atmosphere prohibits any guest telling him to sit down and shut up, or taking him around outside and manufacturing a debilitating “fall”.

7. Travis. On a weekend monumentally sapped of inspiration, Fran Healy’s mob bled their songs such as Turn for all the emotion they could muster and largely succeeded.

8. Audioslave. Yes, we know they’re an insipid mongrel of Soundgarden and Rage Against The Machine, but they were worth watching in order to guess if the bassist’s very odd tattoo that drapes his shoulders like a cowl is real. We think it is.

One Shit Wonders!

1. Keane. Just how much of an aversion we’ve contracted to Keane can be best exemplified by the fact that during their awfully tortuous set we idly channel surfed and were beguiled by ITV1’s The Big Call. We found Dr Fox’s avaricious and morally-bankrupt clarion call of “If you don’t call in, we can’t call you” less offensive than Bedshaped.

2. Mylo. We quite liked Destroy Rock & Roll (“David Bowie/ Duran Duran/ Michael Jackson”), but the song itself seemed to have been press-ganged into sounding like the rest of the dull indie on offer rather than the sprightly dance track we remember.

3. Foo Fighters. Admittedly we didn’t actually watch them, but we do peek into MTV2 and VH-2 occasionally who have Dave Grohl’s pups on almost incessant rotation, and so feel qualified to compare them favourably with the most soporific drug ever developed that can send a blue whale into a slumber at a wink.

4. The Futureheads. If they ever manage to write the perfect pop song, St Peter would still forever forbid their entrance into cultural heaven because of the vexing introduction to Hounds of Love.

5. The La’s. Listening to the La’s is rather like waiting for your exam results being read out in that you don’t listen to anything other than There She Goes and leave as soon as it’s over.

6. Kaiser Chiefs. In the same way as South American juvenile gangs demand an initiation full of humiliation, pain and suffering, this summer’s festival bookers have placed a similar burden on audiences by hiring the Kaiser Chiefs to play everywhere from Scotland to Philadelphia.

7. Athlete. Wires is good, but they sounded like so much of what has already passed on by earlier in the festival that we had sustained a repulsive distaste to anything indie by this stage.

8. Echo And The Bunnymen. Simply for proving that unpalatably drab indie has been around since the early-80s, and cannot be blamed solely on the unkempt progeny of Oasis.

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles

11/07/2005

Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!

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