1. (2) Lee. Somehow managed to emerge triumphant from the swamp of iniquity. This despite displaying the fact that he’s barely more literate than a half-chewed pomegranate with: “Surely there’s not men who doesn’t aspire to be James Bond?” He directed the advert for...
1. (5) Lucinda. The quailing bleat of “they got rid of me because I was a threat” will be a ubiquitous complaint in the Big Brother season. Lucinda used it in this episode – only here it was an accurate reflection of her treatment. She was a threat. She was a threat...
1. (6) Michael. This wasn’t the usual Apprentice; this was the slow death of a young man. As soon as Sir Alan made him team leader, he may as well have handed him a chalice of hemlock rather than the tortuous death he endured over the next couple of days. However,...
1. (2) Raef. Why on earth was Raef fired? Why on earth was the candidate ”par excellence” eliminated when dead wood such as Claire and Alex, who are so rotten even woodlouse wouldn’t vomit mushy pulp into their vacuous craniums, still survive? It’s easy. This week’s...
1. (9) Michael. We’re bored of ‘hating’ Michael. He’s become what Charlie was in the last series of Lost, forever dangled over a precipice of doom, teasing viewers as to his imminent demise, and then yanking him to salvation at the last moment. Until he got trapped in...
The Apprentice Chart 1. (2) Sara. Not even distinct enough to the narrator to earn being called by her own name as she and Lucinda were referred to as “the girls”. Although her negotiation technique was praised by Nick, it essentially boiled down to speaking in a more...
1. (8) Raef. After an early stumble – “The spoken word is my tool! Sales relies on being able to communicate efficiently and persuade; and those are two abilities I have… errr, up to full capacity!” – and also lauding the ubiquitous human gangrene of Myleene Klass...
1. (1) Lee. Oscillates between ruthless mercenary and endearing slow child in the blink of an eye. On the way to the farm to make their ice cream, he gushed: “I ain’t seen gween for weeks and weeks!” 2. (10) Lucinda. The Muhammad Ali of The Apprentice, she used his...
1. (4) Lee. Perhaps it’s an overspill from the quote of the series so far when Lee went all third person on us – “Lee McQueen is very concerned” – but this blokey bloke who would superficially seem more at home demanding money with menaces from rat-faced East End...