Did we like it?
If this had been a parody, it would have been a shoo-in for comedy awards aplenty. But it is, shockingly, for real. Another low benchmark in ITV’s withering reputation (yes, it’s worse than those Sharon Osbourne and Nigella Lawson chat shows, but will probably be overtaken on the awfulness scale when Alan Titchmarsh begins his ITV show soon). Proper TV people actually commissioned it and made it. They must employ some right idiots at ITV these days.
What was good about it?
• It was so puerile, so appalling that it just about scraped into so-bad-it’s-good territory.
• Shirley the “glamourous assistant” plucked from the audience was far more entertaining than the host.
What was bad about it?
• Antony Cotton can’t sing (he opened the show with Twist & Shout, with the emphasis on Shout). He can’t dance (mincing up carpeted steps was awful). He can’t interview, getting nothing from the guests (Malcolm Hebden and Tricia Penrose on the show we suffered). He can’t dress (grey suit and pink trainers – yuck).
• The moronic audience who clapped out of time, laughed in the wrong places and generally lapped up the sort of ‘entertainment’ that would get booed off in an old folks’ home.
• Sidekick DJ Tim, a man who will always be a stranger to charisma.
• The items thrown into the mix in between the ‘interviews’ such as On This Day (unfunny), the visitors’ book readings (embarrassing), the funny hairdresser names league (unoriginal), Rate my Mete (don’t ask) and Morris Mayhem (an attempt for Cotton to indulge incompetently in some camp morris dancing. Larry Grayson is spinning in his grave).
• Cotton being impressed by the word ‘memorabilia’. How thick does that make him?