The Apprentice heads to Wembley.

by | Oct 26, 2017 | All, Reviews

You know The Apprentice is working when you have to reach for the nearest cushion to shield  your face from the lunacy on screen. The best stroke worst example of this occurred a few years ago when the teams had to organise a coach trip. This seemed a straightforward task but we watched in disbelief as one team serenaded their passengers/hostages with rowdy renditions of ‘the wheels on the bus’ and other nursery classics. This week’s task echoed those horrendous scenes as the candidates were sent to Wembley to create a VIP hospitality box on the women’s FA cup final day, as well as running a store outside of the ground.

Siobhan, who organises events in her life outside the reality fiasco is chosen as PM for the girls team. To contrast this Andrew is the boys’ project manager, but he clashes quickly with Michaela after a remark that ‘Men’s football is more important and popular than women’s football’. Though maybe he just forgot he was sat in Wembley stadium. The mature choice is then made for Elizabeth and Sajan to be sub-team leaders.

Andrew’s team sample their menu choices  and decide against the option of sushi because as Andrew says, ‘sushi is definitely a London fashion’. Which means it certainly wouldn’t appeal to those that are visiting Wembley stadium.  Back with the girls and it’s poor non drinker who is put in charge of choosing the alcohol for the event.

Sajan’s subteam negotiate the box price, with their ideal price per head given by Andrew being £320. The buyers however want £170 per person. Opposed to the £320 per person taking down the goal of £6,100 all the way down to just over £2000. Elsewhere Elizabeth makes it clear that they are looking for £350 per head but the buyers say they’re only willing to pay £2,500, including hot food, and an open bar. To Siobhan’s disappointment Elizabeth reminds the team she only shook hands on ‘a good day out’. The decision is made for Harrison sing as the entertainment for the boys’ team, it may save them money, but to go straight from singing in the shower to Wembley stadium is quite the feat, and Harrison knows it.

Team vitality’s budgeting continues when they try to cut corners on their canapes and drinks, by taking the suggestion of ‘slightly underfilling the champagne glasses’. The boys managed spend a respectful £1,320 all in all, but the girls struggle to stay away from each other’s throats when deciding where they’re going to be posted at Wembley. Andrew and Michaela also struggle to stop fighting, when the sexist remarks continue to fly. Bushra plans her VIP welcome speech, obviously out of her depth but I admire her confidence because her team lacks it. Meanwhile on the opposite end of the spectrum team Graphene’s project manager Siobhan gets her first glass of wine for the day.  Whilst Vitality’s Harrison is roped into dusting off a Sinatra classic to both entertain those in the box and save the team the cost of professional entertainment. 

Elsewhere Elizabeth and her increasingly argumentative subteam are tasked with flogging candy floss to the crowds outside the stadium. Elizabeth respectively sells the candy floss for four pounds, but her teammates are quick to bicker about her; even though she seems to be the only one selling anything. Joanne’s negativity and inability to do any selling could have spelt the end of the team’s hopes, but the surprisingly dynamic duo of Elizabeth and Sarah-Jayne proved they could manage alone. Jade and Elizabeth’s selling is met with a compliment from Claude. Who goes on to describe Jade as a ‘selling machine’.

In predictable scenes in the boys’ box their decision to be stingy with alcohol proved a false economy and they’re forced to replenish their booze from the onsite bar.

It’s at this point visions of that fateful coach trip creep back into view. First there’s Bushra’s speech about the history of Wembley which was so awful that everyone in the room wasn’t sure what to make of it and then there was Harrison’s lacklustre version of ‘My Way’ which was a difficult watch but appeared to win over the room.  However, in my view anyone reading the lyrics off a piece of paper oozes the word: amateur. In the last two minutes the girls prove once again that they are the dominant force in the competition, and I must say my attitudes towards Elizabeth this week have changed, in my opinion she has proven she is a worthy candidate. Whether or not she could be Lord Sugar’s apprentice though is uncertain.

In the boardroom Lord Sugar makes it clear that the pricing for the girls’ team was unclear, but Bushra, Elizabeth and Siobhan fail to reach a conclusion and admit that they were at fault. Team Vitality is probed about their negotiation struggle, with Lord Sugar praising Michaela’s save from disaster.  The boys team fail to make the same profit on the snacks as the girls but in a dramatic course of events the boys manage to beat the girls earning a higher profit in the box and the client not asking for a refund.

In their first visit to the depressing cafe the girls set about tearing one another apart. Their bickering and infighting makes for an uncomfortable and ultimately unprofessional display prompting an unimpressed Karren to remind them to ‘be respectful of one another.’ Siobhan’s leadership is quickly questioned, despite the task being her ‘forte’. Elizabeth is cut off when explaining that she was left with no figure to negotiate with, but Joanna’s negative behaviour is blasted by Lord Sugar. Siobhan’s over ordering is the basis for why she is fired, but that’s not all. Lord sugar makes is abundantly clear that Joanna will be the project manager on the next task, because of her failure to compliment anything or anyone regarding the task. Perhaps next week could spell the end of her run to be Lord Sugar’s apprentice.  And don’t get us started on THAT hug

Contributed by Callum Bancroft

The Apprentice Continues Wednesday at 9.00pm on BBC One 

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles


Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!


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