The Curse of Noel Edmonds. Five

by | Nov 8, 2004 | All, Reviews

What to say if you liked it

It was a wonderfully spiteful biography of one of the most malignant broadcasters of the last century.

What to say if you didn’t like it

It was a tawdry, witless examination of Noel Edmonds that consistently sought to exaggerate minor foibles into deeds that could have brought about the collapse of Western civilisation.

What was good about it?

• When Noel was poetically duped by Chris Morris to campaign against the proliferation of “made-up drug.” Cake, most keenly when Noel earnestly remarked: “It stimulates the part of the brain known as Shatner’s Bassoon..”

• The Brass Eye sketch that reported Noel had shot dead Clive Anderson and tossed his severed head on to his front lawn.

• Noel’s best Gotcha Oscar when he sabotaged Dave Lee Travis’s Saturday morning pub quiz show with two awful teams.

What was bad about it?

• Noel didn’t seem to be cursed at all. At the age of 25 he had already scaled the peaks of radio as he took the helm of the Radio One Breakfast Show; by 30 he was presenting the most famous Saturday morning kids’ show in BBC history; and by 35 he had established a successful Saturday evening show. Sure, his career came off the rails a little in the 90s, but he is compensated by living a life of luxury in a castle in Devon with a multi-million pound fortune. If that’s a curse we’re off to the local witch to get her to hex us.

• In what was essentially a character assassination, exemplified by Alexander Armstrong’s sneering commentary, it was quite distasteful to exhibit the most potent standard of Noel’s “curse.” being the death of Michael Lush while he prepared for a stunt on the Late, Late Breakfast Show.

• However, abominable Mr Blobby was (even though his Gotcha with Will Carling was very funny) the influence of the roly-poly freak was utterly ephemeral and harmless, and perhaps it’s this reason why it is difficult to garner much enthusiasm a decade on to vilify him (and Noel) for his existence. Tommy Vance still hates hi, though, describing Mr Blobby as “a pure low of broadcasting” and “a terrible indictment of where the British mentality was at the time.”

• The predictably dull talking heads – Myskow, Morley, Bushell, Hyland, Diamond.

• Mike Smith – the Gary Neville to Noel’s David Beckham – claiming that he and Noel had been described as “the best double act since Morecambe & Wise”

• Desperate DJ Mike Read being hired to don a false beard and read out quotes by Noel who had refused to do an interview.

• The sanctimonious scorn of the odious DLT as he sat in supercilious judgement on his former colleague’s career alongside Paul Burnett in a Smashy and Nicey combination

• As Ant & Dec have pilfered many of the best items of Noel’s House Party for their own Saturday night show (NTV and the Gotchas), the Geordie duo should beware of the public getting as sick of them as they were of Noel in 1995.

• The collapse of Noel’s House Party themed amusement parks was not illuminating and seemed to be crammed in as desperate evidence to prove Noel was a failure.

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles

08/11/2004

Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!

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