Friday Night Project, Channel 4
What to say if you liked it
An hilarious adaptation of the traditional chat show in which a guest host plays jolly japes on members of the public while strengthening the nation’s deserved adoration of their bounteous talents.
What to say if you didn’t like it
Whispers of talent in the operatic crescendo of television are given a platform to amplify their meagre arias only to prove they deserve to be condemned to an eternity of silence.
What was good about it?
• Jimmy Carr – Channel 4’s comic fire extinguisher. If ever a show looks like it’s about to burst into an inferno of ineptitude (and Vinnie Jones was one big conflagration of incompetence that could quite easily have engulfed the vast forests of Australia if left unchecked), Jimmy steps in with a series of very funny observations or remarks.
• Wardrobe of Fear where a member of the public was shut in a wardrobe with Vinnie Jones who makes violent threats. If the person can laugh off Vinnie’s menace they win a cash prize.
• The overall format is relatively original and interesting, but it will stand and fall by the quality of the guest presenter – and with Kelly Osbourne and Neil Morrissey coming soon, we’ll probably not bother finding out
What was bad about it?
• Vinnie Jones. Last week, Rob Brydon in the guise of Keith Barret had torn Jones’ overt masculinity to shreds with his wit, but here Jones was in on the joke and his machismo was nauseatingly indulged.
• Vinnie’s opening comic routine which was so stilted and poorly timed Trevor McDonald is like Lee Evans in comparison. A couple of the jokes were okay, though: “Pete Doherty has been caught with four ounces of dope – or, as she prefers to be called, Kate Moss. She’s a bit of a flat-chested bird but that don’t bother Pete. He’s been off his tits for years.”
• Fightstar – Charlie from Busted’s new group that sound like the sort of band who you’d hire for a university ball only to be sorely let down by their sub-Foo Fighters dirge.
• Rob’s Magic Moment in which Rob Rouse bursts out of the coffin in a solemn funeral cortege to provoke the whole procession to burst into song. Nice try, but it was done over 30 years ago in Live And Let Die, although now they didn’t need to murder a CIA agent to inflame the celebration.
• Watch Out Vinnie’s About – a sub-Jeremy Beadle/Noel Edmonds stunt with a more loathsome protagonist.
• Slightly Sozzled Celebrity – it might have potential, but the first guest was Jeff Brazier meaning it should have been entitled Slightly Sozzled Human Vacuum. He had to give clues to words. “I’ve never been on one” got Jimmy Carr to guess “Is it a good looking girl?”
Gazza turning up like a confused old horse about to be carted off to the knackers’ yard.
The Friday Night Project, Channel 4
1 – Nothing changed from the terrible first edition. You’d have thought the production team would have stocked up on caffeine, drugs and sharp knives and gone back to the drawing board. But, if anything, it was worse. Largely because…
2 – Kelly Osbourne was a dreadful “celebrity” guest host. Fat-faced, foul-mouthed flat delivery.
3 – The “gang” fawned over Kelly when they should have been trying to come up with better gags than Jimmy Carr’s lamentable one about not wanting to lick a stamp if Camilla was on the front.
4 – The quality of the “celebs” appearing in cameos – Christine Hamilton, Lizzie Bardsley and some French cook who thinks he’s gorgeous but ain’t – indicates that this is one show no-one with any cred will touch with a bargepole.
5 – Jeffrey Starr, Kelly’s personal make-up artist, looks like a pink-haired space cadet and his work on the awful girl’s face suggests he’s no better qualified to be a make-up artist than a drunken one-armed monkey with a paint palette.
The Friday Night Project, Channel 4
1 – Boy George was the first decent guest host of the series – but the format is still too lame for a second run.
2 – Boy George’s verdict on Eminem (“He’s a homophobic w**ker”) and Elton John (“All that money and she’s still got hair like a dinner lady.”)
3 – Boy George explains the penis size doesn’t matter. A big one is “always a nice surprise” but a guy with “nice eyes and a small penis” is just as acceptable.
4 – Boy George’s success in the game show when he had to spot girls dressed like him among boys dressed like him
5 – The picture of the notorious Turkey Twizzler – actually it was Elton John
6 – Jimmy Carr’s joke: “Dr Who has had eight lives and the fans of Dr Who haven’t even had one.”
7 – Jimmy and Rob being covered in make-up and dragged through London’s gay hotspot Old Compton Street