The Great British Memory Test, ITV1

by | Feb 5, 2005 | All, Reviews

If The Great British Memory Test was a surgical operation then:

• Gabby Logan revealing that “there is a Madonna single for each British house-hold” is a crushing a revelation as the patient being informed there is only a “10 per dent chance of survival” before the commencement of the operation.

• The women’s robotic mindless applause is the mundane injection of the anaesthetic into the bloodstream to numb the patient against the threat of sensation.

The seemingly blank, anonymous paper in Dr Fox’s breast pocket is a much a harbinger of despondency for all viewers hoping for some vital entertainment as a

“Do Not Resuscitate” label on the patient’s notes.

• The mannequin-style open mouths and vapid expressions on the male audience behind Dr Fox are the brimming man-size bags of the day’s amputated limbs ready to be dispatched to the incinerator.

• Gabby Logan’s “taking candy from a baby” Americanism is the chief surgeon calling his team “people” as they prepare to operate.

• Dr Fox’s offensively protruding lower lip is the throbbing abscess almost puncturing the skin that threatens the life of the patient.

• Dr Fox’s pallid features sitting atop his sharply cut suit has the same clinical soullessness as draining the blood from around the surgeon’s fist deep cut.

• The loutish men who boorishly cheer on Dr Fox’s cue are the dumb sanitation bins already overflowing with all manner of surgical effluence whether it is surplus tissue or pus-ridden gauze strips.

• Dr Fox’s supercilious salute to the men for winning is as fatal as the life support machine being turned off with the simple flick of a switch.

• Dr Fox’s incessantly yawning eyes and closely furrowed forehead is the studied, fraudulent emotion of the surgeon as he informs a patient’s family of a death for the sixth time that day.

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles

05/02/2005

Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!

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