Did we like it?
The audition shows are always TV Gold and this was no exception.
What was good about it?
• The ludicrously over-the-top production. It’s a cheap reality show but it’s made to look like a Hollywood blockbuster. Hilarious.
• The Swingle Singers-style act who performed Top Of The World
• Cocky Onkar Judge, the one with a few wisps of black candy floss on his head, crashing into the backdrop and then reacting badly when he got the deserved slagging off after his unearthly attempt at Jacko’s Earth Song.
• Laughing at the deflation of Jay (“I’ve got a strong voice”), the chubby, eyebrowless Mariah Carey wannabe; utter fruitcake Donna (Mrs Dracula) who’s mad about Madonna; and sensible-looking speccy Tim who turned out to be a complete loony, bleating All Night Long while doing a flabbergastingly yucky, slinky dance. Sharon actually made us laugh for once when he told her that his girlfriend thought he was very good and she told him, “She must love you very much,”
What was bad about it?
• Boo-hoo-hoo boy Shaun being put through after sobbing, wringing his hands and squeaking Right Here Waiting. Sensible Simon realised the nervous wreck could never survive and wanted him out, but Lousy Louie got the casting vote. “There’s something about you I REALLY like,” he simpered (the choirboy looks?) and give him the nod.
• The unfunny sequence in which Francesco’s droned version of You Raise Me Up was spun out as if he was singing it for hours and had really sent the judges to sleep.
• Simon climbing down when ticked off by old bag Edna after he rightly criticised her frumpy daughter-in-law’s buggering up of Begin The Beguine.
• Jonathan, the good-looking guy with a sob story (sick mum), has star quality but we hated his performance of some grotty old swing number
• The three black girls (Pure Liberty they were called. Liberty Wrecks more like) being overrated by the judges. As was the overtanned, frizzy-haired girl who wrecked Over The Rainbow.
• Pointless Paula Abdul’s appearance as a guest judge