What to say if you liked it
The Soccer AM stalwart finally gets a show that showcases his copious chat show potential.
What to say if you didn’t like it
Tim Lovejoy desecrates the heathen grave of TFI Friday to exhume the putrefying ideology and format of Chris Evans’ weekly ego trip to aid in this new diseased
hybrid of sycophancy and indulgence.
What was good about it?
• Tim Lovejoy showed that he could capably and wittily present shows outside the spectrum of football.
• The blissful promise that guests will not be “reality TV stars, Jordan or Jodie Marsh”.
• The unusual features such as Scars of the Stars, where Ray Winstone recalled how his wife had dislocated his little finger; and Ultimates, where Noel Gallagher
nominated Johnny Rotten as his Ultimate front man (although this was slightly spoiled by Stan Collymore selecting one of his own strikes as his Ultimate goal).
• The choice of bands was good. The Ordinary Boys and The Rakes both played decent songs, while “The Happy Mondays” gave a reasonable approximation of the languid Loose Fit.
• When Tim Lovejoy introduced first guest Stan Collymore and said: “Let’s take a look at you in action.” But where we expected the film to be Collymore blasting in goals, it was instead a doppelganger of the former footballer lurking in a car park and peering through the windows of stationary vehicles at the debauchery within.
• It showed Preston, the singer from the Ordinary Boys, taking a penalty on Soccer AM where he kicked the ball with a right leg so gangly and loose it looked like a rubber golf club.
• Noel Gallagher was as irascible as usual, but seems to get most of his laughs describing the exploits of his brother.
What was bad about it?
• Informing the audience that Spurs had beaten Oldham 6-0 appeared to be more about stating “Hey, we’re live and dangerous” rather than telling people a score they may or may not care for.
• Listing the live football on Sky for the coming week seemed incongruous and appeared to be a comfort blanket for Lovejoy to calm his nerves.
• The promise about having high quality guests was immediately broken with first guest Stan Collymore. Apparently he’s going to become an actor in the same way as Sven Goran Erkisson was observed in the theatre eyeing up Kevin Spacey as Wayne Rooney’s understudy for the Wales game. “I’ve been in LA for six of the last eight weeks,” Stan confided. Well, forgive us if we don’t unveil a gold star for you on the Hollywood streets.
• When questioned over his “dogging” antics, Stan came out with his usual platitudes of irresponsibility such as: “There are plenty of worse things I could’ve done.” It’s only a wonder he didn’t employ his two favourite excuses of: “I’m only human” and “Everyone makes mistakes.”
• The bloated Shaun Ryder now looks like Groutie from Porridge. And “The Happy Mondays” seemed to be Ryder, the pointless Bez and a bunch of session musicians.
• The social experiment to discover why all footballers like R&B had promise, but was crippled by the enigma of all footballers being so incredibly dull.
• The clip of Shaun Ryder swearing on TFI Friday that incurred an indefinite ban from TV just before the Mondays played seemed to be a trite stunt to prove the show was more brazen than it’s most obvious ancestor.