What to say if you like it
The new Ant, Dec and Cat – Sam Nixon, Mark Rhodes and Fearne Cotton – return with a revamped pop music show packed with great new music, and it is soooo much better than CD:UK.
What to say if you didn’t like it
The poor man’s Ant, Dec and Cat return with a rehashed Top Of The Pops Saturday
What was good about it?
• Mark Rhodes. He’s always been gorgeous, but now he looks HOT! He threatened to take off his belt at one stage. Sadly, he didn’t.
• Alan Hansen’s Pop Analysis, where the football pundit analysed McFly’s new video like it was a match: “That’s a very flat back four!”
• The Spice Girls “as they are now” – a doctored photo of five random old people, one of them male
• Fearne Cotton actually disliking something – Let’s Get Down by Supafly Vs Fishbowl – even if that was only expressed by pulling a funny face.
• Vanessa Brown’s cracking (and live) performance of her single Whipped; the sexy performance by The Pussycat Dolls of Don’t Cha; Cool by Gwen Stefani, a deathly pale botoxed, peroxide runner-up in a Bet Lynch lookalike competition; and Mylo Vs Miami Sound Machine’s Doctor Pressure (a mix of Drop The Pressure and Dr Beat)
• Jo O’Meara – described as “the lead singer of S Club 7”, though she was pretty much the only singer in that group – seemed very nice, even though she was only on as part of an unfunny sketch. We got a brief clip of her debut solo single. Initial impressions? Great voice, shame about the song.
• The blink-and-you’ll-miss-it shot of a man in a gorilla costume playing with one of the cameras.
• The reactions of viewers at an old folks’ home. Scripted, but amusing, it featured an ancient punk who seemed to like The Pussycat Dolls and another old chap who reclined in his chair claiming he was “the original bad boy”.
• Pop Vs Cricket, a segment where Tom from McFly and Matthew Hoggard race to get a CD out of the annoying plastic packaging. Tom won.
• The Embarrassing Dancing Dad competition
What was bad about it?
• Girls Aloud’s “performance” of Long Hot Summer, which amounted to them standing there fanning themselves while the song played in the background.
• JK and Joel, The Chuckle Brothersalikes who host the awful official chart show on Radio One.
• The table of prizes – Fearne’s remarkably clean wellies she wore for “all the festivals” some props from Girls Aloud, a cheap keyboard, a tacky bracelet, plus t-shirts and albums – looked like a car boot sale.
• The Big Brother’s Big Mouth-style rant line. While they’ll probably make a lot of money from callers, nothing that can be broadcast on Saturday morning will be worth hearing
• McFly’s awful cover version of The Who’s Pinball Wizard. We’re dreading their attempt at My Generation.
• The unfunny comedy sketches, the worst being Sam & Mark, Pop Agents including an ancient gag (Jo O’Meara signs an autograph – but it’s actually a lifetime contract)
• The Know Your Guest segment featuring Sarah from Girls Aloud. She used to work as a pizza delivery girl, don’t you know?
• Fearne fawning over “lovely” Jamie Cullum, “the greatest jazz musician in the history of jazz music.”
• The guy who did terrible impressions of Usher.
• The unfunny clip featuring Daniel Powter getting confused about Girls Aloud. Which was shown twice.