What to say if you liked it
A Veronica Mars a day helps you work, rest and play. And enjoy some tasty TV.
What to say if you disliked it
Yet another US teen drama centring on a school full of beautiful, rich people (“the parents are millionaires or work for millionaires – there’s no middle class”) and one disillusioned outsider
What’s good about it?
• Veronica Mars. She’s beautiful (thanks to actress Kristen Bell), she doesn’t take any nonsense, she takes revenge when she’s wronged, she’s funny, she’s decent, she’s an excellent private investigator and she’s not too kooky.
• Veronica’s sidekick Wallace Fennel, the new kid at Neptune High School who she rescues from humiliation – he’s been strung up with ‘snitch’ painted on his bare chest by the bad boy biker gang.
• Veronica and Wallace may not be in the in-crowd but they manage to get the bikers on their side. The bikers may be tough but there’s a streak of decency below that streak of oil.
• The storyline potential is immense. Already we know Veronica has been raped, her best friend has been killed, her sheriff father has lost his job because he arrested the wrong man (the town’s benefactor), her estranged mother is shagging the wrong man (the town’s benefactor)… And that’s just the icing on the top of Neptune’s confection of secrets and lies.
• Eli “Weevil” Navarro, leader of the local bike gang, played by Francis Capra – the best-looking in a bunch of gorgeous guys in the show.
• Veronica’s revenge against the despicable Sheriff Lamb, by switching a video tape, revealing to a shocked courtroom one of his officers getting a blow job from a stripper in his squad car
• Veronica’s ugly but cute dog Backup.
• Creator/writer Rob Thomas has come up with an intriguing series in which complex outcasts come out on top – and we have lots of fun seeing them do it. So much better than The OC and One Tree Hill. Almost as good as Desperate Housewives.
What’s bad about it?
• It airs everyday at 6.05pm on LivingTV. Which is good for those with a voracious appetite for Veronica. But it’s not a great slot and it’s too much of a commitment. A weekly airing in a later slot would have helped this show gain the popularity it deserves.
• The Dandy Warhols provide the theme song. But there is some good music, too, ranging from the Streets to Blue Oyster Cult in the opening episode.
• Veronica’s father Keith is a little annoying.
The best quotes of the series
• Veronica Voiceover: Quite a reputation I’ve got, huh. You wanna know how I lost my virginity? So do I.
• Keith: No sack dinners tonight! Tonight, we eat like the lower middle class to which we aspire.
• Wallace:Yeah, you realise don’t you, that this guy you’re trying to help out duct taped me butt-naked to a flag pole just last week?
• Veronica:I should really get home. I’d invite you over but it’s a school night and my dad owns a handgun.
• Keith: How was your date?
Veronica: Oh, you know. Lousy conversation, but the sex was fantastic.
Keith: That’s not funny.
Veronica: I don’t know. I’m pretty sure it was.
• Troy: Don’t run, Veronica. People might think that you’re desperate.
Veronica: That would be a step up, reputation-wise.
• Lilly: Hey, I’m only young once. How many braless years do I have left?
• Wallace: It’s not going to work. You can’t take the cool outta me. Look – pocket protector and I’m still full of pimp juice!
• Logan: Nice car. Must have been a huge cereal box.
• Logan: Thanks for the ride. This mean you’re gonna play nice now?
Veronica: Walk in front of the car. We’ll see.
• Clemmons: Mr. Echolls. I was wondering if I could have a word?
Logan: “Anthropomorphic.” All yours, big guy.
• Mr. Daniels:This is punishment, gentlemen, not party time.
Logan: Well that would explain the absence of balloon animals.
• Lilly: He has been weird the past few days. Maybe his right hand finally said no.
• Keith: Let’s do something normal fathers and daughters do.
Veronica: Buy me a pony?
Keith: I was thinking I’d watch TV and you’d rub my feet.
Veronica: Hmm. Yeah, that’s normal.
• Cliff: Dershowitz, Cochrane, and Shapiro were offering up their limbs, and he comes here for representation. I failed criminal law and I still know that can’t be good.
• Wallace:Why are you holding your hands like that?
Veronica: So that one day in your memoirs, you’ll describe me as “inscrutable.”
Wallace: I was leaning more towards “bonkers.”
Veronica: I’ll take what I can get.
• Keith:You asked me – no, you begged me for a waterbed like four years in a row. It was your obsession.
Veronica: Uh huh. It’s all coming back to me now. The way you explained it, Santa was cool with the basic concept but had grave doubts about second floor deployment.
Keith: That well-known bedrock pragmatism of elvish culture.
• Veronica: He joined a cult? What do they worship? Wedgies? Keggers? Their parents’ platinum cards?
• Veronica Voiceover: Enough, already with this mellow “Incense and Peppermints” vibe. Let’s break out the mushrooms and dance naked! Strap on the goat skull headgear, sacrifice a few infants. Come on, people, you’re cultists. Start acting like it.
• Lamb: Is your daddy here, or is he busy peeking in people’s windows?
Veronica: You stop dressing up like Little Bo Peep, he’ll stop peeking.
• Mac: She wouldn’t know Monet’s Water Lilies unless Revlon named a nail polish after it.
• Veronica:I need to ask another favour.
Wallace: This mission better involve me seducing the head cheerleader.
• Lilly:Glad to see you guys are equal opportunity oglers.
Logan: Hey, I judge not by the colour of the skin but by the content of their sweater.
• Veronica: She must be going through a shy phase.
Mr. Rooks: Not really. She’s usually pretty gregarious. She must really dislike you.
Veronica: There’s a club she can join.
• Duncan: Don’t be stingy with the glitter. Remember, it’s an ’80s dance.
• Veronica: Can you do me a weird favour without asking any questions?
Wallace: Isn’t that the bedrock upon which our friendship was founded?
• Keith:You want me to find a call girl for your husband?
Woman: Yes. He likes blondes.
Keith: Look, I don’t know if you were looking for “pimp” in the phone book and just stopped at “P.I.”…
• Veronica Voiceover:I’m not an expert on the male mind, so maybe someday someone can tell me what it is about chrome, glass, and fake black leather that are supposed to represent masculinity.
• Veronica:I’ll be at home. With the only sane member of the Mars family.
Keith: The one who eats from the garbage and keeps bringing me dead birds?
Veronica: That’s the one.
• Mandy: You’re Veronica Mars, right?
Mandy: Do you think I could, like, hire you, or something? To help me find my dog?
Veronica: That depends. Was he cheating on you?
• Trina: My boyfriend Dylan spotted me some cash a few months ago and…now he’s bugging me about it. I-I can’t get him off my back.
Logan: Did you try standing up?
• Veronica: You wrote “slut” on my car last year at Shelly’s party. Why?
Madison: Because “whore” had too many letters.