Lost, Channel 4/E4

by | Jan 11, 2006 | All, Reviews

The lost Lost theories

1. Hurley is using his wealth to satisfy his cannibalistic urges. Obese lottery winner Hurley had secretly bought the plane and bribed the pilot to crash the plane on a remote desert island. Hurley’s reason for this ornate stratagem was to feed his profound desire to taste human meat, something polite society forbade him from satiating. It was therefore necessary to corral a group of potential meals into an area where he could feast on them at his leisure picking them off one by one, as to butcher them all at once would mean their flesh would putrefy. Even a cannibal has modest culinary standards.

2. The Island of Dr Cliché. The island lies at the absolute global centre of humanity’s susceptibility to lame marketing and relentless advertising, a point where all the lines of consumer gullibility intersect. And this powerful amalgamation of neutered human imagination has manifested itself in the Island of Dr Cliché. Think about it: the cinematic clichés – Charlie stumbling when fleeing the monster, Jack being both the most handsome and charismatic, and the contrived social and ethnic mix – all too hackneyed to be even ironic. Dr Cliché himself lurks in a base beneath the volcanic peak of the island and is “mad” and working on perfecting “a monster”.

3. Scarface! It’s something to do with the scars which appear on their faces. Jack’s four scars show no signs of healing after a week, whilst Kate has four new scars on her cheek. Lock, meanwhile, has a Blofeld double-scar over his eye, and Claire has a scar on her chin. Do they signify a pseudo-ranking system?

4. Monster Lottery. The plane was deliberately sent to the island by forces unknown after the resident monster ordered a lottery game to alleviate the boredom of his solitary existence. Each of the passengers has a number imprinted under their skin which the monster must scratch off to see if he was won. The monster’s first victim, the pilot, didn’t have the monster’s lucky numbers under his skin, so he’s going to keep searching.

5. Weather phenomenon. Just as the flora and fauna have evolved over the millennia, so have clouds. And once recent evolution has been that, because of the excessive plane fuel drifting around the atmosphere, clouds have developed into imitation planes, complete with passengers and crew. Planes crashing on remote islands in the region are as common as rainstorms, and soon the survivors will revert back to their original state of water droplets and evaporate back into the atmosphere.

6. Bio-plane. Or perhaps, not so much a plane with passengers but a plane with internal organs. The plane was a living organism while the one-dimensional passengers are anthropomorphic elements – Jack the heroism and humanity, Kate the duplicity, Hurley the gluttony, Charlie the dissolution, Lock the pragmatism, Sawyer the insolence etc – while the monster is the unleashed malevolence of mankind.

7. God’s plaything. Having caused one too many global extinctions across the omniverse, God is sent to his room by his dad. But not before he sneaks the plane and its passengers into a pocket little world in which he can play immaturely with them, choosing who lives and who dies.

8. Claire – Mother of the Universe. Pregnant Claire is preparing to give birth to no ordinary baby – she is about to spawn a new universe into being. It was the baby’s nascent gravitational growth which caused the plane to plummet out of the sky. But it was also the baby universe’s latent survival instincts which guided the plane to land on an island where Claire can safely give birth, away from the destructive influence of human society.

Luke Knowles

Luke Knowles

11/01/2006

Editor of the website and host of the podcast. A general TV obsessive. I've been running the site since 2008 and you can usually find me in front of the TV. My Favourite show of all time is Breaking Bad with Cracker coming a close second. I feel so passionately that television can change the world and I'm doing my little bit by running this site. You're Welcome!

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